Not a Networker

I'm totally not into networking, for various reasons. The underlying reason, of course, is that law is just a way to make a living for me, it's not something that I'm intensely passionate about, so I don't get all that excited when telling people what I do. More than that, though, "networking," schmoozing people for the sake of drumming up new business, feels so fake to me. I just received a law practice newsletter encouraging us to "set metrics. Review your contacts. Determine a number of C-level executives you would like to reach out to each week/month/year."

This practice-building advice seems so cold to me. I know a lot, lot, lot of people, and I do enjoy talking to and legitimately catching up with them. I don't think much about who's at the C-level, and who is merely a program assistant. I get different things from different people. But according to the law practice management coach, the only people worth strategically targeting are those who are in high positions. CEOs, CFOs, etc. I disagree with this. I think new business is just as likely to (and has) come from the friend you see at happy hour, who knows you're a lawyer, whose next door neighbor is putting together a brilliant new business and needs someone to draw up the contracts and corporate documents.

Right?

Gratitude

Instead of focusing on regrets (I should have married that guy that was in love with me 10 years ago instead of waiting for Mr. Perfect) and things that are missing from my life, I am going to focus on the positives.

5 things I am grateful for:

1.  Thank G-d, I am healthy.  This struck me more than usual today at the gym, where a loving couple in their 80's came to work out.  They are happy and one of them uses a cane.

2.  I have awesome friends and family who go out of their way for me.

3.  Now that I got the Brazilian Blowout thing figured out, my hair always looks good!

4.  I am professionally successful and new clients keep falling in my lap, almost effortlessly.

5.  There are lots of doors opening for me in the future!

Dating an Older Man

My most recent short-lived romance was with an older man: divorced, with kids. Never in my life had I imagined myself with someone like him, but, he heard of me through a mutual friend, made inquiries, which were relayed to me, and I agreed to pass along my phone number. He called and we met for coffee. Initially, I was quite skeptical because of his situation. Ultimately, those qualms turned out to be spot-on, but between the time I got over my hesitation and the moment he backed out because of our different life goals, we had a few weeks of bliss. Here's what I liked about him, and why I would consider an older man again:

1. Career stability. Unlike men my age, who I sometimes feel are intimidated by the fact that I'm a a smart cookie, an older man who has achieved the professional goals he set out for himself is content sit back and to nurture my own ambition. He's not competitive with me. On the contrary, he goes out of his way to help me, and makes me think about things from angles I had not considered, based on his own experience.

2. Mellowness. He has ideas of what he likes and doesn't like, but is totally open to suggestions if something else will make me happy (he's a good boy). He's always there with a hug. I feel really comfortable around him. There is no pressure to be or do something I don't want.

3. Patience. He is not in any rush to jump into a relationship or pressure me to do anything I am not yet comfortable with.  He's been around the block a few times, so he probably knows how things will end if he acts one way or another. 

Older men can be nurturing, sweet, and kind, and I would definitely be open to meeting another one. And that thing about an older man not being able to  . . . well, that's just a myth :-)

Taken

Have you ever spent enormous quantities of time with someone, getting to know him as a friend, and then suddenly realize that you actually really, really like him?  It is a big problem.  Especially when he is entangled with someone else.  I am very sensitive to other people's relationships, partly because I have been on the other side, hanging out with my boyfriend's arm draped around my shoulder when other women literally tried to get in between us.  It's not a good feeling; it promotes the idea that women are bitches who will scratch and claw their way to "get the man."  The guy may be amused or flattered or even briefly respond to the other woman's attention, but it creates big problems in the relationship if he does.  I don't want to be that other woman.  I want to be respectful of their relationship.  I fear it may be too late.  He reports that she is jealous of me and doesn't want him spending time with me.  But on the other hand, he is a free man, not engaged or married, and how often do you really click with someone?  And anyway, if my feelings are reciprocated, I'm pretty sure he will do something about it (like break up with his mean, unappreciative girlfriend).   Anyone else felt this kind of conflict?  Anyone, anyone?  Bueller?

Awesome credit card promo

So, I heard about this amazing promotion going on right now if you open a new Chase Sapphire Preferred account.  Previously, I had a plain old Chase Sapphire, which I was thrilled with because, just like in the commercials, when you call customer service, a live person actually answers the phone and helps you!  Now I have upgraded to the Preferred and within the next several months I will get more than $500 worth of bonus points just for spending the same amount I normally charge to my American Express.  Yes, there is an annual fee associated with the card, but it's way less than AmEx.  I am excited to try it out.  It just arrived today, and I love the gemlike color and heft of the card.  I'll keep you posted.
~CG

3, 2, 1, decorate!

I just got my hot little hands on Jill Vegas' Speed Decorating book.  It is awesome!  I participated in one of her classes (which she's now offering online as well) and learned all about working backwards with a goal in mind.  I try to apply that principle to other areas of my life, with mixed results.   My favorite tips from her are:
1.  Buy only furniture you LOVE
2.  Dress your walls!
3.  Banish beige.

She's responsible for first pointing me to esty.com for cool art finds.  A painting from esty now graces my living room wall, and I get compliments on it all the time.

Check out the new book and let me know your thoughts.
~CG

Upscale Thrift store hits Cherry Creek North!

The other day I was on the way to the dry cleaners and what appeared to be a new boutique caught my eye.  Turns out, it's a fancy version of Goodwill, with selections of clothing edited by volunteers to create a Cherry Creek North experience.  The emergence of "Deja Blue by Goodwill" adds new/gently worn life into the neighborhood of posh, intimidating stores and should thrill bargain hunters who don't like the feel of a normal Goodwill store.